Monday, April 28, 2008

Toys for the Boys

So our guys have the evening off, and I suppose they're pretty blue. They didn't have a very good weekend, so they need something to cheer them up. And what's better to lift the spirits of a bunch of boys than toys? So I checked out amazon.com and found some fun things for them to play with.

For Nick Blackburn: You always seem so grumpy and I've never seen you smile. And that's ok, because you gotta be who you gotta be. I can't think of anything that celebrates gloominess better than this Eeyore plush.




For Matt Tolbert
: Gardy says you never stop moving around and that you're just a bundle of energy. So, to capture your personality, and to go along with the "Winnie the Pooh" theme, I chose this Tigger plush.




For Go-Go
: Everyone knows that no one is faster than you. So the only thing I can think of that can keep up with you is this Lightning McQueen toy.




For Joey
: Girls have been chasing you since you broke into the majors. I figure that if you're going to be treated like an American Idol, you may as well pretend you're an American Idol. So I chose this American Idol Recording Studio.




For Cuddy
: I'm glad you're back off the DL, but I'm still worried about your hand. I think you should protect it as much as possible while you play, so I chose these Sock'em Boppers for you.




For Boof
: Nice job on losing weight. You look great, and you should be proud. Since you have many fewer fat cells in your body, you might want to play with this Giant Microbes Fat Cell plush toy.*




For Everyone Else
(because I want to be done now): After such a downer of a game on Sunday, you all must be tense and serious. Nothing lightens things up better than lots and lots of bubbles. I chose this Gazillion Bubbles Machine.





*I know, a plush fat cell is creepy, but this company has a whole line of creepy microbe plush toys such as syphilis, e.coli, HIV, the clap. Maybe we can send a bunch to the visitor's clubhouse.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

A fat cell is definitely a better toy than syphilis.

And right on with the bubbles. We ALL need bubbles after that road trip

I'm off to look into what it would take to send Nick Swisher the clap [toy].

Anonymous said...

Sorry to be so late here K-bro, but his was hilarious.